Thursday, October 16, 2008

And furthermore, if I'm elected President

I don't like to get into politics, but here's what I wish the presidential candidates were REALLY debating about.

Me: Senator McCain, if elected president how will you help my teething twins to sleep through the night?

McCain: Let me tell you about Joe the Plummer (Grinch Grimmace). He wanted his own set of teeth, but the government was taxing him too heavily (blink blink), making them completely unaffordable. As president, I will not raise taxes so your teething twins and Joe the Plummer can acheive the American Dream of growing their own set of teeth.

Me: The American Dream? Uh, ok. Senator Obama, how would you help my teething twins sleep through the night?

Obama: (Craning neck) There are plenty of people with teeth to go around. With all these people chomping on more teeth than they can ever grow cavities in, why do babies need to grow their own? As president, I will make sure those who have any more than 250,000 teeth will pony up all the excess (flashes pearly whites). They don't mind. They already have too many teeth. Then your teething twins can skip the teething process and start out life with a complete set of adult teeth. Plus I will send them off to college.

Me: They're eleven months old. Weird.

3 comments:

hollylynn said...

i love this. a lot.

Super Angie said...

To whom it may concern: Amber Webb is hilarious. Her wittiness political commentary are a gift to this world. Thank you.

trublubyu said...

i came over to your blog at holly's insistence. funny stuff. let's get those politicians talking about the real issues facing americans today.